These are epigrams by Michael R. Burch, both original epigrams and translations of epigrams. 

Multiplication, Tabled
by Michael R. Burch

for the Religious Right

“Be fruitful and multiply”—
great advice, for a fruitfly!
But for women and men,
simple Simons, say, “WHEN!”

Originally published by Poem Today

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Not Elves, Exactly
by Michael R. Burch