maybe just maybe i'm not the daughter my mother wanted maybe just maybe life screwed her, the way it did me maybe just maybe it all started ten years ago when i was 9 the first person to scar me a woman maybe just maybe it was her a woman who groped me in a taxi on my way to school she groped me, her words haunt me forever i still feel her groping me everyday it haunts me everyday maybe just maybe it was the second time the second person to scar me a man. i was 16 in a taxi on my way home from school he tried rub me down and caress me when i brushed him off he threw money in my lap and proceeded to do it again maybe just maybe it was him it was him who ruined my mother's daughter maybe just maybe it was the third time the first three boys to scar - all at once maybe it was them maybe it was being pinned down and fighting for my life maybe that's what scarred me or maybe just maybe it was the fourth guy who scarred me maybe it was the way he grabbed me while i tried to get away maybe it was the way he left me bruised for days it was probably looking at my black and blue wrist the next day maybe that was it maybe just maybe it was the fifth guy maybe it was him who ruined my mother's daughter he was my friend i trusted him, yet he gave me away to his friend, a friend i didn't know a friend who told me that it's fine i didn't remember what happened a friend who laughed at my confusion when i inquired maybe just maybe it was all these things but maybe it wasn't any of these things maybe it was my dad the very very first person to scar me maybe it was the way he left that had to be it it left me scared of anyone, of everyone maybe it wasn't any of this maybe it's life's way of screwing my mother maybe just maybe it's life's way of screwing us both but maybe just maybe i don't know what ruined my mother's daughter maybe this is the way, the way it's supposed to be my mother's daughter ruined and we don't know why maybe just maybe .