What Is A Thought To A Memory?

What’s a thought to a memory?
A memory to a moment?

An idea.
An idea that you thought meant something to you at the time.
But at this point you realize an idea is simply a fantasy. A fantasy that became a safety net. A place within your mind you decided to call home because it felt so wholesome. It felt so real and so safe to your heart.
But then when the idea wanted to no longer be a fantasy but a reality, all the moments you pieced together became dark and clouded with so much anger and regret that you started to feel less of yourself.
You pushed away every opportunity of love entering your life once more.

In this new moment you feel like you were nothing but a teen drama and a poorly put-together rom-com.

How could this fraction of my life weigh me down so much when it was only an idea? A simple fantasy that I wanted for myself.

Crying in the dark and being told I’m immature by the man I thought was true didn’t make me feel whole.

Instead it gave me a splitting headache of ideas that I knew I needed to put down on paper.