when I opened your bedroom door
and you were waiting for me naked on the bed
I felt nothing.
 
but I still spend fifteen dollars on a tasteless meal with you
just so I can gaze at your jawline
in the glow of candlelight.
 
I find myself looking for pieces of you in the music you listen to
but I can’t find anything
tangible.
 
did you know
that people are selling Christmas trees on the sidewalk
where a homeless man and his dog used to lay?
 
god, this city has turned my heart into a cave…
 
I find myself
making eye contact with everyone who passes me on the street,
to see if anyone’s eyes look like mine.
 
yesterday, a boy in a blue sweatshirt
waved at me from a taxi
and I didn’t wave back.
 
have you seen the way the sidewalk by the Met looks like it’s glittering?
here in the east village
it just looks like concrete.