- This is me Afraid of this mediocrity Never content with the status quo The world tells me I”m crazy cause I should be happy with what I have None of this means I”m not grateful But I want different And there is nothing wrong with wanting better for myself For the longest time it feels like I’ve been stuck in purgatory A place scarier than heaven or hell The state of nothingness And I never want to be caught there ever again I tell myself that if I’m ever the same person this time next year then I did something wrong I never want to be who I was the year before’ I strive for change, evolution, and growth And all that only occurs through experiences and putting myself through discomfort and challenges Plants don’t grow in the shade And the human spirit doesn’t soar without discovering the stumbles in its paces - You ever think about how your shadows dance with the street lights You let yourself dance with your own silhouette The same goes for how your ego interacts with truth This persona you adopted occasionally interacts, but more often than not clashes with raw authenticity Your truth often lies in the shadow of your ego But you may not realize it and then believe that your ego is who you actually are You sort of become like the cavemen in PLat’os Allegory of The Cave In the sense that you think your shadows are something or someone else entirely People are afraid of what they don’t know or understand Hence why they don’t go looking in the dark Therefore never trying to see what is in their shadow And never getting the full view of the profile they exhibit when a light is shined upon them Don’t be the monster who’s afraid of their own darkness. - I’m practicing being human. I’m allowing myself failure. Giving myself time. Trying things. Understanding, accepting, and letting go. Knowing that I will never know what the future actually holds. Most things are out of my control and all I can really be sure of is myself. My love, my perceptions, my identity, sense of purpose, my wants, needs, failures, and changes. I can set the stage as much as I can but at anypoint it can crumble and collapse. Setting a whole different scene. I can sit, lay, and burn in my own truths as the world gets drowned out by the sparks and flames of my fleeting thoughts and feelings. And I’ll stay there. Till I’m ready to rise out of my own ashes. And I’ll continue forward. Forever practicing what it means to be alive. Living my version of being human. - These waves of insecurity hit everytime I see you. They strike like the hand of an angry parent. Or the words of hurt from a loved one. My care seems to take a backseat to my fears of loneliness and abandonment. My mind travels to dark and absurd spaces when I don’t see you. You tell me you love me. And you reassure me that I’m the only one you want. But the lack of love I have for myself makes me convince myself otherwise. My insecurities are what stomp on the foundation of truth and support that we have fostered underneath us. I feel myself falling for you more and more with each passing second. And I’m picking up speed. Faster than a speeding bullet. And I”m scared. But I like it. And I don’t wanna catch myself. - Hold me Love me Until the lights blow out And we can sit in each others darkness With nothing but the warmth that radiates from our hearts As we free ourselves from our own mind And into the arms of each other With all our misfortunes and past selves far beyond us in this darkness Our souls have finally met their match And ignite Lighting our truest selves on full display And as we swell up in flames We grow brighter and brighter With nothing in our way - It all starts with a seed And if we water that seed with any tears we shed It grows and blossoms Growing out stems of insecurity and regretting vulnerabilities Thorns of discontent and heavy hearts And petals of vivid dreams we wish for ourselves Nectar of love and acceptance we keep the deepest within us May our love never be predicated on the distrust, lies, and misfortune we have for ourselves