Sometimes I wonder if I have a crush on you If the reason I don't like anybody Is because I've secretly been in love with you this whole time Like the character on the screen That everyone is screaming at But they're just too blind to see it. It's probably just the denial talking, My inability to accept that I'm diffferent Even though I know it's okay Because it's okay for other people Just not for me Because that would mean breaking younger me's heart So maybe it's just safer to project this desire Onto someone I know won't reciprocate Not that I'd ever tell you anyway Sometimes I think we should date Except nothing would change Except maybe we'd call each other girlfriends And kiss every once in a while Not in a sexual or romantic way Just a form of physical affection like any other Except different It's probably just that I've internalized Society's message that to be single is to settle To be lonely And I'm scared to be alone I've probably just romanticized the idea, No pun intended, Because I don't actually think I want things between us to change But I can't help but wonder- Do I get excited when you text me Because I don't get to see you And I miss you, Or is it something more? Was I envious of your situationship Because I don't get to see you And I felt left out, Or was it something more? I don't think I want it to be something more That's too complicated And scary And as long as we love each other, Why should it matter what form that love takes? Still, it would be nice to know What form my love has taken