A prelude to Nike's "Am I a bad person?" commercial narration.

I wanted to be a “good” person.
I tried.

Was told that I shouldn’t cling to one dream, so I didn’t
Believed being transparent would beget the belonging I craved
Felt that being easygoing would lead me down the right path
Thought always to put others’ needs before mine.

This makes me a “good person”.
It’s what I told myself.

Gave everyone the benefit of doubt
Extended respect to all but myself
Forced down my throat acceptance of the existence I was creating.
Pulled out and ushered all into their chairs, rather than taking a seat at the table
Contorted to fit the neat box; into a cage of projected expectations
Absorbed guilt every time it was pelted my way.
Lent a hand when my arm was broken
Dared not to soar to any heights, lest I cast shadows rather than slip into them
Feigned a calm demeanor and forced a lid on what bubbled up inside.

“You are a good person.”
I told her, in the mirror.
“You are.”

“You keep your head bowed and obedient.”
“Others may take what’s yours and keep it, since —“
“You deserve to give only and never receive.”

“You are a good person.”
I told her, in the mirror.
Am I?