It’s almost ten and youre still asleep
Isn’t it beautiful, falling asleep without a care in the world?
The only thing I thank you for is the writing inspiration
Since I‘ve never met someone as cruel as you

Watching my every move like an experienced spy
Waiting for your girl to slip up
You ask where I‘ve been
Only to show up and completely ignore me

We‘re becoming something new
I’m not sure if I like it
I’m not sure how long I can pretend you constantly being angry with me is beautiful
I don’t know how long I can tame the beast

I can’t forget my heartbeat every time you insist on meeting my sister
Every time you look at women in front of you like a hungry wolf
Every time you text other women and try to make me seem crazy
When all I ever wanted is to be understood

Eight hours later, still no text from you
I don’t understand why I am still doing this to myself
This slow, repeated death
This irrevocable nightmare Ive brought upon myself

They say who you have a child with will dictate the rest of your life
I’m glad I saw blood between my legs
I’m glad I don’t carry your seed
The world couldn’t handle another persons who never seems to understand

You don’t deserve me in any piece, let alone the piece of a child
I wait for you, I hurt for you, I want to be seen
This blood is my second chance
I’ll use it wisely

I remember the second time I lied down with you
No pleasure for me, just for you
You kept saying it was my fault
Even through the dirty remains on my belly

I remember the time I had to beg you to show interest in things I like
After I gave you my body for pleasure
You blantly said „You haven’t managed to make me worship you yet“

Five, four, three, two, one
I have to pick one or all would suffer
I have to save my dignity before I cause all else to suffer
Before the trauma doesnt close and I give it to my daughter

She will grow up to be just like me,
Easy, since she‘ll give her kisses away just to be held
Irritable, since she won’t have a dad or a boyfriend that will understand her
Mean, because this is what happens to people who have had enough

Isn’t that a nightmare?
Isn’t that something to remember?
Or even worse, she‘ll be just like you
And I’ll have to raise the beast myself

Her eyes would be full of anger every time I say a different opinion
Her hands would tremble, ready to attack me, everytime I even think of breathing
Her mouth would be full of insults and terrible jokes, that would keep me awake every night

Now I finally understand my own mother
But me and my momma we don’t get along
I Rage at her while she looks at me shocked
She cannot believe this beast she birthed

I never wanted our love to end
Not like this, not through a poem
But you drained me before I could even finish a sentence
How does it feel to burn a girl out?

In our darkest hours, I tried to find a plug
To pull you back in, to light that body of yours on fire
And not the one you enjoy
Yet I couldn’t find the spot, how similar are we?

I’ll never take you home
No matter how hard you’ll plead
Youre no worth of my parents attention
Let alone mine

Wonder if you walk into a bar with your friends
Do you ever look around or say you got plans?
To the girl you have at home does your mind ever wonder to?
Or like you said „I’m a man I can fall in love in five minutes“

Wonder if the army sends you to Athens
Will the only postcard I ever get is an engagement ring photo
Of your Athenian girl, and shes blonde, named Helen
And is exactly like your ex

The same ex, whose name you kept calling me for weeks
And proceeded to get mad me for crying at this
Are you joking? Are you insane?
Has that death infected your brain?

I also experienced loss
Yet I never became unhinged
All the wires stayed in place
Can’t you see how I long for you to be just like me?

Introduced you to my favorite musical on Founding Fathers
As you looked at me in disdain
I didn’t know how much more to give
For you to treat me like a person

Stars shone above our heads
I remember asking you if you could read the costillations
You couldn’t and I wasn’t shocked
It’s typical of you not to know

How does it feel to be so hated?
How does it feel to have a mother who constantly diminish you?
How does it feel for an entire university class to call you an abuser?
How does it feel for you to never say sorry?

But I ain’t like you
I wrote you a poem for you to know that we‘re through
I’ll expect the slap and the constant calls while under my house shortly
Isn’t that what you said you did with her?

No, I ain’t like you
I don’t cuss my siblings out and wish for their death
Or call my girlfriend fat, after she gave me.. love
I will never, ever be like you

I might talk about  you in podcasts
I might also start a Tik tok account aboit the crazy things you did
Youre never off the limits
As long as you’re no longer seeing me