That dusty lamp in the corner that hasn't been turned on in years The change you collect just to forget it's there A nice meal you let sit and rot in the fridge I am that dusty lamp I am pocket change I am left to sit and rot Over looked, unacknowledged, not even worth a second thought, am I worth. CONSTANTLY Doomingly craving any soul to bless me with friendship, love, kindness, intellect Stuck with silence.....pure agony, to feel as nothing but a pest to all And a irritant to the iris so it seems silence..... ah Like pulling your warm wet lips off a freezing popsicle to see ripped flesh conformed to the sugar uncomfortable, displeasing, & quite unsettling, so between my inner screams for acknowledgment and in wonder of Why? What did I do wrong? Is it me? When is it my turn to shine? Why talk as if I'm not here? You don't remember? I was there,...no really I was. "Can I come too?" "Oh, you weren't talking to me..." "You were there?", "ha I didn't realize" "Gotta cancel our plans, let's try next time" Nothing more than, "waste of space, energy, and time" Thought by many Loved by none Who knew it would get so lonely? No calls, texts, letters, photos Left on read No reply For months Upon months I could be dead, literally noone cares???????? Mom????? "I love you mom" No reply No answer Fuckin nothin from nobody Brought in the world by 2 But 2 was ew and 1 was fun So I picked up a gun It had begun, just being 1 alone, only with my imagination to appease this deep feeling of self loathing to fix my empty heart Knotted, it won't start from lack of compassion, acknowledgment, and empathy In this invisibly I have been forsaken There is no such sorrow as this But it's quite despicable So now I have not a single care And therefore will be a ghost Wandering amlously, silently, detected by none And when you finally realize What a shining, warm, glorious gem you found, hidden, tucked away waiting for ANYONE to find and marvel You will not find me You will not reach me You will not see me It'd been too late I'd  given so many chances to be seen I tried to catch a gaze, 1 last try To see who might/not walk by shining so bright Fighting so hard Trying my damnest But nope Just looking for acceptance and peace, that's all I will have lost my luster, I waited my whole life to shine To rise To be radiant To share moments of sheer, pure happiness and I burnt out with only few select moments of vibrancy For nothing and noone to Appreciate knowing me and how I glow ever so bright, lighting up everything around me For vacant eyes to see And deaf ears to hear noone sees or listens But I'll tell you again Spent all this time waiting to shine Waiting Cherishing the thought of another knowing me inside and out.............      but that's too much to ask I just want eye contact, a genuine laugh, A smile, conversation, even just a lounge on a couch in silence purposely shifting to attract any sort of contact buzzing in anticipation Looking for a sparkle.... Twinkle... anything... No interest to even fake a smile Just blank eyes with 1 interest Overwhelmed And a shiver down my back Nothing but disappointment Lack of luster And not a morsel of true kindness ever graced upon me No matter, I will just simply go mad No need to care any further Because I have a friend And you are me as I am you Chit chatting Giggling Shooting notes across the room Noone can separate the 2 Just to say someone cares And know, to watch out I have a crazy best friend That you will never see Because of invisibly