Aliens Among Us They landed secretly in major urban areas all through the late 60's there were problems with assimilation: bizarre behaviors attributed to young humans? all aliens remember streaking? Dead givaway! They look human! To the nines! A few minor diffs: The females have external genitalia look just like human males but their “sperm” are clouds of fertilized eggs thousands emitted each time they lay the aliens reach sexual maturity about when humans do but their gametes aren't fertile till about age 35 thank god! if their teens were fertile we'd be up to our clavicles by now how to tell an alien female from a human male (without a microscope) femmes, they're called they never leave the toilet seat up that's really the only way their males now, smaller than femmes, as in most species coincidentally, resemble female humans internal genitalia, etc their sperm are few, precious, not to be spilled needlessly we're talking really low sperm counts: One! Two! Anyhoo each sperm can activate (“quicken”) scores of eggs the lil guys contain no genetic material none, nada, zilcherino exchange of that occurs only among females in rituals no human has yet witnessed the aliens say, when pressed “Humanity is not ready.” this all happens during copulation the mechanics of which are mundane which is to say alien style, no weirder/more/less tittilating than human style quite the else at a micro scale, however: whole lotta shakin' going on obv.* Hitherto our four** species have coexisted amicably (mauger the Isthmus Incident; look it up) but signs & portents abound: boatloads of jabbering clairvoyants & -audients adrift on major rivers & lakes Miss Emilie's Daily Astrological Reports (June 16-23 of last year) (unbelievable!) assorted unexplained apparitions unpredictable quakes most telling of all: Nate Silver's 538 Blog's recently published correlations human & alien fads, propensities, propinquities, & geographical parallelismae*** indicate, nay proclaim(!) humanity's done kaput eradicatismo all over but the facebooking und so weiter well, at least they won't have to redesign our bathroom signage his → hers hers → his done!