Vain Men seek but Appearances to save,
Not Credit so much to deserve, as have;
The less their Worth is, or their Virtue's Store,
Their Affectation of 'em is the more;
So Bullies prove, for Bragging most, less stout,
Hypocrites least Saints, seeming most devout;
False Courtiers least Friends, by most Courtesie,
Lovers less true, for open Vanity,
And great Professions, which true Faith belie;
Both Men and Women, who most strict appear,
Are given on their Honour most to Swear,
Dissemblers, or Faith-breakers soonest are;
But the more real is their Truth or Passion,
The less of either is their Affectation;
Since great Professions greater Falshood prove,
And give that Diffidence, they wou'd remove;
For Men who conscious of most Falshood are,
To the least Truths, are given most, to Swear;
Whose Words, or Oaths unask'd, unquestion'd too,
(By which, they more Sincerity wou'd show,)
Are rather Vouchers of their Falsity,
And for their Truth against it, testifie;
Who being conscious of their little Troth,
Must to their Word give Credit, by their Oath;
So, whilst they'd clear Suspicion, give more Doubt,
Of Truth, which needs an Oath, to make it out;
Whilst True Men, who stand most upon their Troth,
Disparage least their True Faith by their Oath;
But Lyars most incredulous appear,
Of others Faith, as theirs is less sincere;
Others, from their own Falseness, most suspect,
Whose Words, as more, prove less still in effect;
Thus, out of Int'rest, Custom, Vanity,
Most Men professing most Truth, most will lie,
Whose Oaths, their Words, Assertions most deny;
Have, know, think least, of what they talk of most,
Vain, empty Gamesters of small Winnings boast,
The Cunning brag of more than they have lost;
Prodigals, boasting much their lavish'd Store,
But prove their Sense less, as their Losses more;
Misers their Gains, on t'other side, belie,
And, for their Credit, will their Wealth deny,
Glory more in Affected Poverty;
Which by their Avarice, is truly such,
Of Wealth have but too little, as too much,
Which as more, they more, to their own Use grutch;
The Cully for a crafty Knave wou'd pass,
The true Cheat for a Bubble, and an Ass,
Better to bring his Knavish Ends about;
The Cowards brag most, but because least stout,
Talks most, and most big, to be least found out;
The silent Braves, who no Flesh dare to fear,
To Brag, or Lie, for Life nor Honour dare;
Vain Fools, more to their Shame, set up for Praise,
Old Fumblers for brisk Whore-masters wou'd pass,
Boast their Abilities, to their Disgrace;
Young Lusty Whore-masters, for Fumblers too,
And Impotent, with Men will often go,
But with their Women to have more to do;
Exactest Beauties affect Carelesness,
Nature's neglected, as their Beauty's less,
Affect still more Exactness in their Dress;
Each Strict Dame in her Carr'age is more free,
The Loose in hers, seems more constrain'd to be;
More to be with her Friend, in private, loose,
Abroad, reservedness, to 'scape Scandal shows,
Fools, but to stop our Ears, their Silence break,
The True Wit's dumb, whom we wou'd court, to speak;
As the good Voices, and best Singers are,
More giv'n to hold their Tongues, whom we wou'd hear,
Mouths we wou'd stop, from singing can't forbear;
The Single Man, most fain wou'd Marry'd be,
The Marry'd Man, more fain from Marr'age Free;
The Free Young Maid, a Marry'd Life wou'd chuse,
Ty'd to one Man, to be with all more loose;
Travellers gain Rest, but by coming Home,
Men at Home none, till that Abroad they come;
Thus is Love of Variety, Man's Curse,
Which us to such a Love of Change does force,
Rather than not change, we wou'd for the worse;
In fine, all sorts of Affectations so,
In Quest of Praise, Ease, Shame, and Trouble, grow;
To make our vain Endeavours, lose our Aim,
By more Pride, seeking more Praise, more our Shame,
Which Fame we merit, forfeits by our Claim;
Till our own Affectation of more Praise,
Makes our Pretence to Honour, our Disgrace,
And us our Pride does, by our Height, debase;
Whilst our Contempt of Fame, or Praise of Man,
Wou'd it sure, from him, for us sooner gain,
As we seem less (more Praise to merit) vain;
Thus Affectation, of Good Mien, or Dress,
In Setting off, but heightens Ugliness,
Which, but by Carelesness alone, seems less;
Since Affectations give themselves the Lie,
Whilst Truth is seen, thro' its Simplicity;
Our Self-Denials then, our Praises are,
Since Virtues best, by hiding them, appear;
Then he who wou'd get, and deserve Esteem,
Not Wiser, Juster, than he is, must seem,
Since Affectation does itself condem',
And all Vain, Self-Justification, does
Praise, else its Due, Pretending to it, lose;
Provoking Envious Men to Calumny,
Who Contradiction love, Truth, Praise, deny,
To Vain Men, but from their own Vanity;
Yet to the Meritorious, Praise, or Fame,
Refuse not, (if their Right) till 'tis their Claim,
Feign'd Virtues, more than own'd Crimes, are our Shame,
And Vain Pretenders, will but more expose;
No Man's so Faulty, so Ridiculous,
For Faults, or Follies he has, and avows;
Or, for Bad Qualities, which he does own,
As Good Ones, he pretends to, having none;
Which, tho' he had his Vain Pretence to them,
Wou'd lose him, what he sought for, Men's Esteem.