THE TWA CATS AND THE CHEESE .

Twa Cats anes on a cheese did light,
To which baith had an equal right;
But disputes, sic as aft arise,
Fell out a sharing of the prize.
" Fair play, " said ane, " ye bite o'er thick,
" Thae teeth of yours gang wonder quick!
" Let 's part it, else lang or the moon
" Be chang'd, the kebuck will be doon. "
But wha 's to do 't? they 're parties baith,
And ane may do the other skaith:
Sae with consent away they trudge,
And laid the cheese before a judge:
A monkey with a campsho face,
Clerk to a justice of the peace.
A judge he seem'd in justice skill'd,
When he his master's chair had fill'd:
Now umpire chosen for division,
Baith sware to stand by his decision.
Demure he looks; the cheese he pales;
He prives, it 's good; ca's for the scales;
His knife whops throw 't, in twa it fell;
He puts ilk haff in either shell.
Said he, " We 'll truly weigh the case,
" And strictest justice shall have place. "
Then lifting up the scales, he fand
The tane bang up, the other stand:
Syne out he took the heaviest haff,
And eat a knoost o't quickly aff;
And try'd it syne: — it now prov'd light: —
" Friend Cats, " said he, we 'll do ye right. "
Then to the ither haff he fell,
And laid till 't teughly tooth and nail;
Till weigh'd again, it lightest prov'd.
The judge, wha this sweet process lov'd,
Still weigh'd the case, and still ate on,
Till clients baith were weary grown;
And tenting how the matter went,
Cry'd, " Come, come, Sir, we 're baith con-
" tent. " —
" Ye fools! " quoth he, " and justice too
" Man be content as well as you. "
Thus grumbled they, thus he went on,
Till baith the haves were near-hand done.
Poor Pousies now the daffin saw,
Of gawn for nignyes to the law;
And bill'd the judge, that he wad please
To give them the remaining cheese.
To which his worship grave reply'd;
" The dues of court man first be paid. —
" Now justice pleas'd, what 's to the fore
" Will but right scrimply clear your score;
" That 's our decreet: — gae hame and sleep,
" And thank us ye 're win aff sae cheap. "