I.

A traveller stopped at a widow's gate;
She kept an inn, and he wanted to bait;
But the landlady slighted her guest:
For when nature was making an ugly race,
She certainly moulded this traveller's face.
As a sample for all the rest.

II.

The chambermaid's sides they were ready to crack,
When she saw his queer nose and the hump at his back; —
A hump isn't handsome, no doubt.
And though 'tis confessed that the prejudice goes
Very strongly in favour of wearing a nose,
Yet a nose shouldn't look like a snout.

III.

A bagful of gold on the table he laid;
'T had a wondrous effect on the widow and maid!
And they quickly grew marvellous civil.
The money immediately altered the case;
They were charmed with his hump and his snout and his face,
Though he still might have frightened the devil.

IV.

He paid like a prince, gave the widow a smack,
Then flopped on his horse at the door like a sack;
While the landlady, touching the chink,
Cried, " Sir, should you travel this country again,
I heartily hope that the sweetest of men
Will stop at the widow's to drink. "