First chuse a pretty melody,
To take in all the flats:
Then change your drift,
And suddenly
Prepare to shift
The key;
Then growl
Like dogs, and miowl
Like cats:
Then chatter like monkies—now low, and now high,
Then whine, and then sigh,
And all through the nose,
And then swim and die,
And then come to a close.

Among the flats and sharps now a tedious journey travel,
Then lose yourself in knots of chords,
And then those knots unravel:
Then sigh, and die,
And faint in bliss extatic,
And then the half tones try,
For a touch of the chromatic.
Then where you set out come again,
And now—you're welcome home again.

Then once more the melody,
To take in all the flats:
Then change your drift,
And suddenly
Prepare to shift
The key;
Then growl
Like dogs, and miowl
Like cats,
Then chatter like monkies—now low, and now high,
And all through the nose;
And then swim and die,
And then come to a close.
Yet not shabbily,
But with a fine contabile,
In which go high and low boy,
Still follow'd by the hautboy,
And all through the nose,
And then swim and die,
And then come to a close.