Scene X.

THE PARADISE OF HEILEL

CAIN .

Alone, to pour my burden to the airs;
The latest hope to which I clung has failed.
I drink the cup to prove its bitterness,
And she who gave, is, as the beautiful,
Changed; but the change is in myself; I brought
The apathy of heart, where the past lies
As in a grave, but resurrectionless.
Yet whence this inner loathing of myself,
Save of a spirit that would flee its guilt?
Why may I not again be that I was? —
The power to renew that life is gone,
For guilt is an oppression on the heart
That weighs it to the earth. I strove to quicken
New growths of hope, once green and flourishing;
I felt that they were dead and withered flowers,
And dared not offer them.
My path has made
One desolation, Ada strove to love me,
I slew her in her murdered brother. Here
I felt the curse; that she had read the truth
Silently stamped by God upon my brow, —
Behold the man whom none shall love! — Heilel!
These wild haunts are not thine; thou shouldst tread paths
As joyous as thyself; thy step on flowers
As springing, formed but to enwreath thy brows,
Shedding o'er thee their breath.

HEILEL .

So Heilel was;
The centre of all glad and happy things,
That caught, ray-like, from her the joy they gave
She grew, mid flowers rejoicing as herself;
The stars looked on and bless'd her; those hours are
Fled, dream-like, and for ever.

CAIN .

Heilel?

HEILEL .

Now
The solitude of waters, woods, and rocks
Are dear to her as thee; they mock her not
With shows of gladness, but remind of joy
Departed, drawing her to desolation.
I know what sorrow is — how has it changed me!
I strove against its influence, but in vain;
I felt my efforts fainter; as thy voice
Of doubt sunk in me, its tone sounded like
The echo of departed joy. Thy face
Of shadow showed that, in thine inmost heart,
Sorrow had entered. Restlessly I fled;
But who may flee from self? Thy deep eyes dwelt
On mine until they saddened me, even while
Their mystery drew me to them. Thy whole being
Has entered mine, until I am become
The thing I sorrowed for.

CAIN .

Hear me but once!
Thou art the latest hope to which I cling.
Lo, how I kneel before thy gentle feet
With an idolatrous feeling, as to one
Whose nature is divine. O Heilel, hear!
Nought in this vast and visible universe
So lonely as my spirit without thine!
If thou lovest —

HEILEL .

I loved, but with an awe,
A feeling toward one I deemed ensphered
Beyond myself, who kindled in my heart
Vain aspirations; even while I prayed
My spirit wandered from me; my lips moved,
But thought was gone; the half-formed accents died,
Till silence woke and startled me: I rose,
And felt God's eye was turned from me. I knew
My love unhallowed; it was ended.

CAIN .

There is a feeling deeper rooted here
Than words of thine could reach, that all reveals.
I watched thy brow o'ershadowed, till I felt
Its coldness in my heart, that memories
Untold and dark lay buried in thy breast,
As in a cavern hidden from the light.
Oh, never hast thou loved! or, if a heart
Has trusted in thee, thou hast withered it.
Thou hast outlived hope; weariness of life
Sits on thy brow, with the inflexible will
No prayer could move. Thou hast no sympathies,
Therefore, no God; for hadst thou turned to him,
From whom alone joy, sunlike, radiates,
Thou couldst not be the lonely thing thou art!
Thou art a thing of sin, self-made; the truth
Is graven on thy brow. Why thou cam'st here
I know not; it may be to manifest
How bless'd are they whose trust is in their God,
Sole knowledge thou hast overlooked, or scorned;
To teach me I was happier in myself
Than sharing happiness. Be both submiss!
I own it, Father! thou mine eyes hast opened;
I would have changed — I now will pray for thee.

CAIN .

Wilt thou not watch o'er me, and guide me to Him?
Raise me from the abyss wherein I sink,
And make my happiness reflecting thine?

HEILEL .

I fear thee; thou wouldst darken o'er my life:
My higher hope is dimmed since we have met;
A Voice within me bids us part, and tells
Thou must go forth from this bright world alone.
Father! I yield to thee an aching heart,
Whose sacrifice is its atonement. Cain!
Thou wilt dwell near me still, a fallen spirit,
Whose sorrows I would share; my higher love
Dwells with the One in whom I live and am.
Oh, let such faith enlighten thee, till thou
Feel'st adoration is humility.
Follow me not. I walk with God — farewell!

CAIN .

She has forsaken me! so, ever thus.
Her words sank in my heart as if first heard,
As if the Past stood up and spake to me.
Self-exiled from one world, outcast from both,
Couldst thou hope, fratricide! with guilt like thine,
That thy vain prayers should move the Omnipotent,
Or breath of dust could change decrees ordained?
Yet will I pluck resolve from the despair
That from its strength shapes forth itself a will,
Then most uncrushed when bent. Remember him
In the deluge; he opposed himself —

LUCIFER .

Thou art
His equal, and hast proved both good and ill;
That happiness, or content, is found alone
In knowing life's just boundaries. To know
That we can not know, is the height attained
Of knowledge, and to feel immortal.

CAIN .

Life
Is known too late, its hopes and faiths outlived,
Within my bosom dwells a passionless void,
Where memory lightens the waste paths I trod.
Yet one ray lingers there; one human feeling
Clings to me still, weak though it seem to thee.
I would behold my Ada; kneel, and ask
Forgiveness for the pangs that I have dealt.

LUCIFER .

All mortal things,
Wasted by passion which is suffering,
Seek, bird-like, to return back to their homes
Man, changing as the life he left behind him,
Hopes the unchanged to find; he doth forget
The hearts he left were human as his own;
They shared the same inevitable laws
Of life and time; he but returns to prove
The mutability of the mutable.

CAIN .

I ask but her forgiveness.

LUCIFER .

Even so;
Thy motive is necessity Depart!