Said the whisky flask to a cigarette,
“I'd like to make a good sized bet
That I can get more scalps than you,
Although your victims aren't so few.”
Said the cigarette to the whisky flask,
“Well, that's easy as I could ask,
For I give the kids their downward start,
Then you pitch in and do your part.
They come to you with a burning thirst,
But I'm the fellow that sees them first
So most of the fellows count on me.
I'll take the bet, it's a cinch do-ye see?”
Then the whisky flask has this to say,
“I never looked at the thing that way
But I confess you spoke the truth.
'Tis you who tackles the foolish youth
You fill his system with dopey smoke,
I mold him into a first class soak;
We work together far too well
To quarrel for even a little spell.”
So the whisky flask and the cigarette
Shook hands together and offered a bet,
And away they sauntered side by side
Hunting for victims far and wide:
In every corner of the nation,
Partners in crime and ruination.
So here's our warning, on the level,
Shun them as you would shun the devil.