A is the Amiable Actress,
The lobster-cafe's benefactress.

B is the Bibulous Bounder
Who likes to be classed as a rounder.

C is the Curious Corkscrew —
The favorite tool of New York's crew.

D is the Diligent Driver
Who will not take less than a fiver.

E is the Erring Elmiran
About to be fleeced by a siren.

F is the Fellow from Corning
Who will not go home until morning.

G is the Gimlet-eyed Gambler
In wait for the night-blooming rambler.

H is the Hefty Housebreaker
Disguised as a peaceable Quaker.

I is the 'igh-C Italian,
With hair a la Richard Le Gallienne;

J is the Jollification
His boosters will term " an Ovation. "

K is a Kelt from Killarney
Who borrows a dollar on blarney.

L is the Lantern-jawed Loafer
Whom Craesus addresses as " Shoafer! "

M is the Moonbeam so Mellow
That shines on the girl and her fellow.

N is the Nebulous Night-time
By true lovers hailed as the right time.

O is the One Osculation
That earns them the prude's reprobation.

P is the Penitent's Pillow
That feels like a hot armadillo;

Q is his Querulous Query,
" Oh, why did I gamble in Erie? "

R is the Rabid Reporter
Whose story was edited shorter.

S is the Sinful Suggestion
That slumber is out of the question.

T's for the Turbulent Taxis
That swiftly rotate on their axes.

U is the Uniformed Usher
Ejecting the lingering lusher.

V is the Voice of the Victim
Condemning the caitiff who kicked him.

W stands for the White Way —
The Tight Way, yet scarce the Polite Way.

X is the sum that Xpresses
The fine for Xtatic Xcesses.

Y is the Yelling of Yellows
By newsboys with lungs that are bellows.

Z is the Zebra so frisky
Evoked by libations of whisky.