John Davison and Tibbie, his wife,
Sat toastin' their taes ae nicht,
When something startit in the fluir,
And blinkit by their sicht.

" Guidwife, " quoth John, " did ye see that moose?
Whar sorra was the cat? "
" A moose? " — " Ay, a moose. " — " Na, na, Guidman, —
It wasna a moose, 'twas a rat. "

" Ow, ow, Guidwife, to think ye've been
Sae lang aboot the hoose,
An' no to ken a moose frae a rat!
Yon wasna a rat! 'twas a moose. "

" I've seen mair mice than you, Guidman —
An' what think ye o' that?
Sae haud your tongue an' say nae mair —
I tell ye, it was a rat. "

" Me haud my tongue for you , Guidwife!
I'll be mester o' this hoose —
I saw't as plain as een could see't,
An' I tell ye, it was a moose! "

" If your're the mester o' the hoose,
Its I'm the mistress o't;
An' I ken best what's in the hoose —
Sae I tell ye, it was a rat. "

" Weel, weel, Guidwife, gae mak' the brose,
An' ca' it what ye please. "
So up she rose, and made the brose,
While John sat toastin' his taes.

They supit, and supit, and supit the brose,
And aye their lips play'd smack;
They supit, and supit, and supit the brose,
Till their lugs began to crack.

" Sic fules we were to fa' oot, Guidwife,
Aboot a moose " — " A what!
It's a lee ye tell, an' I say again
It wasna a moose, 'twas a rat! "

" Wad ye ca' me a leear to my very face?
My faith, but ye craw croose!
I tell ye, Tib, I never will bear 't —
'Twas a moose! " — " 'Twas a rat! " — " 'Twas a moose! "

Wi' her spoon she strack him ower the pow —
" Ye dour auld doit, tak' that —
Gae to your bed ye canker'd sumph —
'Twas a rat! " — " 'Twas a moose! " — " 'Twas a rat! "

She sent the brose caup at his heels,
As he hirpled ben the hoose;
Yet he shoved oot his head as he steekit the door,
And cried, " 'Twas a moose! 'twas a moose! "

But, when the carle was fast asleep,
She paid him back for that,
And roar'd into his sleepin' lug,
" 'Twas a rat! 'twas a rat! 'twas a rat! "

The de'il be wi' me if I think
It was a beast ava! —
Neist mornin', as she sweepit the fluir,
She faund wee Johnnie's ba'!