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IDYLL V

The B ATTLE OF THE B ARDS

Comatas Lacon Morson

Comatas

G OATS , from a shepherd who stands here, from Lacon, keep away:
Sibyrtas owns him; and he stole my goatskin yesterday
Lacon . Hi! lambs! avoid yon fountain. Have ye not eyes to see
Comatas, him who filched a pipe but two days back from me?
Comatas . Sibyrtas' bondsman own a pipe? whence gotst thou that, and how?
Tootling through straws with Corydon mayhap's beneath thee now?
Lacon . 'Twas Lycon's gift, your highness. But pray, Comatas, say,
What is that skin wherewith thou saidst that Lacon walked away?
Why, thy lord's self had ne'er a skin whereon his limbs to lay
Comatas . The skin that Crocylus gave me, a dark one streaked with white,
The day he slew his she-goat. Why, thou wert ill with spite,
Then, my false friend; and thou would'st end by beggaring me quite.
Lacon . Did Lacon, did Calaethis' son purloin a goatskin? No,
By Pan that haunts the sea beach! Lad, if I served thee so,
Crazed may I drop from yon hill top to Crathis' stream below!
Comatas . Nor pipe of thine, good fellow — the Ladies of the Lake.
So be still kind and good to me — did e'er Comatas take
Lacon . Be Daphnis' woes my portion, should that my credence win!
Still, if thou list to stake a kid — that surely were no sin —
Come on, I'll sing it out with thee — until thou givest in.
Comatas . " The hog he braved Athene ." As for the kid, 'tis there:
You stake a lamb against him — that fat one — if you dare
Lacon . Fox! were that fair for either? At shearing who'd prefer
Horsehair to wool? or when the goat stood handy, suffer her
To nurse her firstling, and himself go milk a blatant cur?
Comatas . The same who deemed his hornet's-buzz the true cicala's note,
And braved — like you — his better. And so forsooth you vote
My kid a trifle? Then come on, fellow! I stake the goat.
Lacon . Why be so hot? Art thou on fire? First prythee take thy seat
'Neath this wild woodland oliye: thy tones will sound more sweet
Here falls a cold rill drop by drop, and green grass blades uprear
Their heads, and fallen leaves are thick, and locusts prattle here
Comatas . Hot I am not; but hurt I am, and sorely, when I think
That thou canst look me in the face and never bleach nor blink —
Me, thine own boyhood's tutor! Go, train the she wolf's brood:
Train dogs — that they may rend thee! This, this is gratitude!
Lacon . When learned I from thy practice or thy preaching aught that's right,
Thou pupper, thou misshapen lump of ugliness and spite?
Comatas . When? When I beat thee, wailing sore: yon goats looked on with glee,
And bleated; and were dealt with e'en as I had dealt with thee
Lacon . Well, bunchback, shallow be thy grave as was thy judgment then!
But hither, hither! Thou'lt not dip in herdsman's lore again
Comatas . Nay, here are oaks and galingale: the hum of housing bees
Makes the place pleasant, and the birds are piping in the trees
And here are two cold streamlets; here deeper shadows fall
Than yon place owns, and look what cones drop from the pine tree tall.
Lacon . Come hither, and tread on lambswool that is soft as any dream:
Still more unsavoury than thyself to me thy goatskins seem
Here will I plant a bowl of milk, our ladies' grace to win;
And one, as huge, beside it, sweet olive oil therein
Comatas . Come hither, and trample dainty fern and poppy blossom: sleep
On goatskins that are softer than thy fleeces piled three deep
Here will I plant eight milkpails, great Pan's regard to gain,
Round them eight cups: full honeycombs shall every cup contain
Lacon . Well! there essay thy woodcraft: thence fight me, never budge
From thine own oak; e'en have thy way. But who shall be our judge?
Oh, if Lycopas with his kine should chance this way to trudge!
Comatas . Nay, I want no Lycopas. But hail yon woods man, do:
'Tis Morson — see! his arms are full of bracken — there, by you
Lacon . We'll hail him
Comatas . Ay, you hail him.
Lacon . Friend, 'twill not take thee long
We're striving which is master, we twain, in woodland song:
And thou, my good friend Morson, ne'er look with favouring eyes
On me; nor yet to yonder lad be fain to judge the prize
Comatas . Nay, by the Nymphs, sweet Morson, ne'er for Comatas' sake
Stretch thou a point; nor e'er let him undue advantage take
Sibyrtas owns you wethers; a Thurian is he:
And here, my friend, Eumares' goats, of Sybaris, you may see.
Lacon . And who asked thee, thou naughty knave, to whom belonged these flocks,
Sibyrtas, or (it might be) me? Eh, thou'rt a chatterbox!
Comatas . The simple truth, most worshipful, is all that I allege:
I'm not for boasting. But thy wit hath all too keen an edge
Lacon . Come sing, if singing's is thee — and may our friend get back
To town alive! Heaven help us, lad, how thy tongue doth clack!
Comatas . [ Sings ] Daphnis the mighty minstrel was less precious to the Nine
Than I. I offered yesterday two kids upon their shrine
Lacon . [ Sings ] Ay, but Apollo fancies me hugely: for him I rear
A lordly ram: and, look you, the Carnival is near.
Comatas . Twin kids hath every goat I milk, save two. My maid, my own,
Eyes me and asks " At milking time, rogue, art thou all alone?"
Lacon . Go to! nigh twenty baskets doth Lacon fill with cheese:
Hath time to woo a sweetheart too upon the blossomed leas
Comatas . Clarissa pelts her goatherd with apples, should he stray
By with his goals; and pouts her lip in a quaint charming way
Lacon . Me too a darling smooth of face notes as I tend my flocks:
How maddeningly o'er that fair neck ripple those shining locks!
Comatas . Tho' dogrose and anemone are fair in their degree
The rose that blooms by garden walls still is the rose for me
Lacon . Tho' acorns' cups are fair, their taste is bitterness, and still
I'll choose, for honeysweet are they, the apples of the hill
Comatas . A cushat I will presently procure and give to her
Who loves me: I know where it sits; up in the juniper.
Lacon . Pooh! a soft fleece, to make a coat, I'll give the day I shear
My brindled ewe — (no hand but mine shall touch it) — to my dear.
Comatas . Back, lambs, from that wild olive: and be content to browse
Here on the shoulder of the hill, beneath the myrtle boughs
Lacon . Run, (will ye?) Ball and Dogstar, down from that oak tree, run:
And feed where Spot is feeding, and catch the morning sun
Comatas . I have a bowl of cypress-wood: I have besides a cup:
Praxiteles designed them: for her they're treasured up
Lacon . I have a dog who throttles wolves: he loves the sheep, and they
Love him: I'll give him to my dear, to keep wild beasts at bay
Comatas . Ye locusts that o'erleap my fence oh let my vines escape
Your clutches, I beseech you: the bloom is on the grape
Lacon . Ye crickets, mark how nettled our friend the goaTherd is!
I ween, ye cost the reapers pangs as acute as his
Comatas . Those foxes with their bushy tails, I hate to see them crawl
Round Micon's homestead and purloin his grapes at evenfall
Lacon . I hate to see the beetles that come warping on the wind,
And climb Philondas' trees, and leave never a fig behind
Comatas . Have you forgot that cudgelling I gave you? At each stroke
You grinned and twisted with a grace, and clung to yonder oak
Lacon . That I've forgot — but I have not, how once Eumares tied
You to that selfsame oak-trunk, and tanned your unclean hide
Comatas . There's some one ill — of heartburn. You note it, I presume,
Morson? Go quick, and fetch a squill from some old beldam's tomb.
Lacon . I think I'm stinging somebody, as Morson too perceives —
Go to the river and dig up a clump of sowbread leaves
Comatas . May Himera flow, not water, but milk: and may'st thou blush,
Crathis, with wine; and fruitage grow upon every rush
Lacon . For me may Sybaris' fountain flow, pure honey: so that you,
My fair, may dip your pitcher each morn in honey-dew
Comatas . My goats are Ted on clover and goat's delight: they tread
On lentisk leaves; or lie them down, ripe strawberries o'er their head
Lacon . My sheep crop honeysuckle bloom, while all around them blows
In clusters rich the jasmine, as brave as any rose
Comatas . I scorn my maid; for when she took my cushat, she did not
Draw with both hands my face to hers and kiss me on the spot
Lacon . I love my love, and hugely: for, when I gave my flute,
I was rewarded with a kiss, a loving one to boot.
Comatas . Lacon, the nightingale should scarce be challenged by the jay,
Nor swan by hoopoe; but, poor boy, thou aye wert for a fray
Morson . I bid the shepherd hold his peace. Comatas, unto you
I, Morson, do adjudge the lamb. You'll first make offering due
Unto the nymphs: then savoury meat you'll send to Morson too.
Comatas . By Pan I will! Snort, all my herd of he goats: I shall now
O'er Lacon, shepherd as he is, crow ye shall soon see how
I've won, and I could leap sky high! Ye also dance and skip,
My horned ewes: in Sybaris' fount to morrow all shall dip
Ho! you, sir, with the glossy coat and dangerous crest; you dare
Look at a ewe, till I have slain my lamb, and ill you'll fare.
What! is he at his tricks again? He is, and he will get
(Or my name's not Comatas), a proper pounding yet.
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