If an unkind word appears,
— File the thing away.
If some novelty in jeers,
— File the thing away.
If some clever little bit
Of a sharp and pointed wit,
Carrying a sting with it —
— File the thing away.

If some bit of gossip come,
— File the thing away.
Scandalously spicy crumb,
— File the thing away.
If suspicion comes to you
That your neighbor isn't true
Let me tell you what to do —
— File the thing away.

Do this for a little while,
Then go out and burn the file.

If an unkind word appears,
— File the thing away.
If some novelty in jeers,
— File the thing away.
If some clever little bit
Of a sharp and pointed wit,
Carrying a sting with it —
— File the thing away.

If some bit of gossip come,
— File the thing away.
Scandalously spicy crumb,
— File the thing away.
If suspicion comes to you
That your neighbor isn't true
Let me tell you what to do —
— File the thing away.

Do this for a little while,
Then go out and burn the file.