Classic Poem

You have heard, I suppose, of the man in the moon,
And the mermaids that live in the sea,
Of Baron Munchausen and John Chinaman,
Better known as the Coolie Chinee.
He shaves half his head and then raises a queue
That reaches way down to his knee,
He carries a fan, and there's much he can do,
This elegant Coolie Chinee.

Hong-Kong, Oolong ;
Hari-Kari, ding-a-dong .
Hong-Kong, Souchoung ;
Hari-Kari, sound the gong .

We sent off our Biddy, and also our cook,
Because their wages were high,
And as a domestic we went for, and took
A coolie their place to supply.
For dinner he gave us our little pet cat
And a cup of steaming hot tea;
Our supper he made from a cussed old rat,
This troublesome Coolie Chinee.

His skin was the color of coffee and milk,
And his feet were delightfully small;
His trowsers were made of the finest of silk,
But some things he had not at all.
He never would sit like the rest of us did,
But down on the floor squatted he:
I never could tell all the trouble we had
With this wonderful Coolie Chinee.

This cunning old chap, from the nation of flow'rs,
Would cheat as you couldn't believe:
He'd " go for " the game with the aces and bowers
He'd manage to hide in his sleeve;
He had the most innocent kind of a look
That any one ever did see;
But he'd " shut up your eye " by hook or by crook,
This terrible Coolie Chinee.

We bought a silk hat and a duster so neat
To keep off the sun and the dirt,
But the hat for a basket to market he took,
And the duster he wore for a shirt.
Oh never be foolish, dear people, I pray,
Oh never be silly like me,
And if you need help, in the future, I pray,
Engage not a Coolie Chinee.