The auld cripple beggar cam jumpin', jumpin',
Hech how the bodie was stumpin', stumpin',
His wee wooden leggie was thumpin', thumpin'—
Saw ye e'er sic a queer auld man?
An' aye he hirpled and hoastit, hoastit,
Aye he stampit his fit, and he boastit,
Ilka woman and maid he accostit,—
Saw ye e'er sic a queer auld man?

The auld wives cam hirplin' in scores frae the clachan,
The young wives cam rinnin', a' gigglin' an' laughin',
The bairnies cam toddlin', a' jinkin' an' daffin',
An pookit the pocks o' the queer auld man.
Out cam the young widows a' blinkin' fu' meekly,
Out cam the young lassies a' smirkin' fu' sweetly,
Out cam the auld maidens a' bobbin' discreetly,
An' gat a slee smack frae the queer auld man.

Out cam the big blacksmith, a' smeekit and duddy,
Out cam the fat butcher, a' greasy an' bluidy,
Out cam the auld cartwright, the wee drucken bodie,
An' swore they would flaughter the queer auld man.
Out cam the lang weaver, wi' his biggest shuttle,
Out cam the short snab, wi' his sharp cutty whittle,
Out cam the young herd, wi' a big tattie beetle,
An' swore they would devel the queer auld man.

The beggar he coost aff his wee wooden peg,
An' he shaw'd them a brawny an' sturdy leg,
I wat but the carle was strappin' and gleg;—
Saw ye e'er sic a stieve auld man?
He thumpit the blacksmith hame to his wife;
He dumpit the butcher, wha ran for his life;
He chased the wee wright wi' the butcher's sharp knife;—
Saw ye e'er sic a brave auld man?

He puff'd on the weaver, he ran to his loom;
He shankit the snab hame to cobble his shoon;
He skelpit the herd, on his bog-reed to croon,—
Saw ye e'er sic a stuffy auld man?
The wives o' the toun then a' gather'd about him,
An' loudly an' blithely the bairnies did shout him,
They hooted the loons wha had threaten'd to clout him,—
Kenn'd ye e'er sic a lucky auld man?