Dear, and very dear relation,
Time, who flies without cessation, —
Who ne'er allows procrastination, —
Who never yields to recubation
Nor ever stops for respiration,
Has brought again in round rotation
The once a yearly celebration
Of the day of thy creation, —
When another augmentation
Of a whole year in numeration
Will be joined in annexation
To thy former glomeration
Of five seven-years' incalculation.
And in this very blest occasion
A thought has crossed my imagination,
That I 'neath an obligation
To make to thee a presentation,
(So 'tis the custom of our nation)
Of any trifling small donation,
Just to express my gratulation
Because of thy safe peragration
To one more long year's termination;
But having made an indagation
As to my moneyed situation,
(What must have been my indignation
Mortification, and vexation)
I tell you sans equivocation,
— I found — through dire depauperation,
A want of power — my sweet relation,
To practise my determination! —

So as the fates ordained frustration
I shortly ceased my lamentation
And, though it caused much improbation,
I set to work with resignation
To torture my imagination,
To spin some curious dication
To merit p'raps thine approbation, —
At least to meet thine acceptation,
And — after much deliberation
And 'mongst my thoughts much altercation,
I fixed that every termination
To every line should end in -ation! —
Now — since I've given this explanation,
Deign to receive my salutation
And let me breathe an aspiration
To thee — this day of thy creation.
First then, I wish thee, dear relation,
Many a sweet reduplication
Of this thy natal celebration:
And may'st thou from this first lunation
Unto thy vital termination
Be free from every derogation
By fell diseases' contamination,
Whose catalogic calculation
Completely thwarts enumeration, —
Emaciation, — fomentation,
With dementation — deplumation,
And many more in computation
For these are but an adumbration: —
— And may'st thou never have occasion
For any surgic operation
Or medical administration, —
Sanguification, — defalcation, —
Cauterization — amputation —
Rhabarbaration — scarification
And more of various designation: —
May'st thou be kept in preservation
From every sort of vitiation
By evil's dark depreciation: —
Intoxication — trucidation, —
From malversation — desecration —
From giving way to execration,
And every sinful machination: —
And in thy daily occupation —
Whether it be discalceation,
Or any other ministration
May'st thou not meet the least frustration;
May'st thou withstand all obtrectation
Thrown out to mar thy reputation; —
May'st thou be free from altercations
Or with thy word or thy relations; —
And (though it wants corroboration,
Yet not quite void of confirmation, — )
If as report gives intimation
You are about to change your station,
May every peaceful combination
Of bliss await your situation
In matrimonial elevation —
May'st thou be loved with veneration —
— By none be held in detestation, —
And towards thy life's advesperation,
When most are prone to [ ]
Their feeble limbs to desiccation, —
Their strength through years to deliquation, —
Their minds and brains to conquassation, —
Their failing speech to aberration, —
Their wearied taste to nauseation, —
then,
Then, may'st thou, — Oh dear relation,
Always receive refullerlation, —
Thy frame imbibe reanimation, —
Thy reason hold her wonted station
And keep her prudent scintillation,
Till thou descend'st by slow gradation
Unto thy final destination —
The long last home of all creation.
— This is my birthday aspiration; —
— Believe it, ever dear relation
Sincere without exaggeration —
In every individual ation! —
Sanguine — in each anticipation —
And kindly meant in perpetration.