Classic Poem

CANTO I .

This states how Noah was quite sad,
To see what work the deluge made;
But joyful when the rainbow came,
Calling his wife to see the same.
How first he sent a raven out,
Who carrion ate, and sereamed about,
And made such an infernal din,
He wished again he had him in —
How next he sent a dove, who found
An olive branch upon dry ground;
How Noah made a speech, and sent
Her off again — and how she went.

CANTO II .

How upon Ararat, the ark
Stuck in the mud, when it was dark;
And how next morning they went out
To sacrifice, and look about.
How mercy's angel, sweet as may be,
Said she'd known Noah from a baby;
When he caught humble-bees and teazed 'em,
Pulling their tails out, which much pleased 'em; —
How drinking's amiable weakness
Would lead him into shame and sickness;
How great big boats, with masts and sails,
Should go a-fishing after whales;
And Mr. Guille from Vauxhall
Should mount above the heads of all.
Also, how in her curious speech she
Lugged in the Venus de Medicis;
Concluding with a brief reflection
Upon astronomy's perfection,

CANTO III .

How Shem with a red face got up,
And let the cattle out o' the coop;
And how they came out, one by one,
Also the birds when they had done;
How Noah then got out of bed,
And stroked his offspring on the head,
Saying he had done a good deed,
To let the cattle out to feed.

CANTO IV .

States how the devil came to Ham,
And told him it was all a flam,
About the world's being all o'erspread;
How Ham believed in what he said,
And being glad to hear that others
Besides his father, self, and brothers,
Had not been drowned, a strain quite gay
Began upon his harp to play;
At which the devil, disguised till then,
Took his own ugly form agen;
And with his tail his legs between,
Sneaked off, and looked extremely mean.

CANTO V .

How Ham having lately got a son,
Noah came to see him thereupon,
And in a fit of prophecy,
Told him his baby black should be;
How all his offspring should be dingies,
And sold for slaves to the West Indies.
And how Canaan on the spot
Turned as black as any pot.
Whereat his mother screamed in wonder,
Seeing her babe as dark as thunder.
How Noah then went on to state
Of Japhet's line the happier fate,
How they should all come over here,
Scare off the buffaloes and deer,
And massacre the cruel savages,
Who on their settlements made ravages.
How soon the Lion of the British,
Seeing their good luck, would get skittish,
And walking clear across the ocean,
Would make a terrible commotion,
Till being well kicked and cuffed he should
Go grumbling back across the flood.
These, interspersed with other things,
Paul Allen most obscurely sings.
Ne'er since the ark was set afloat
Was such a curious poem wrote.