Classic Poem

We are warriors bold and daring,
Fierce our faces, fierce our actions;
Without any malice bearing
In a manner most unsparing
We reduce our foes to fractions
With a reckless, restless raging
Fearless fury fuming, waging
Bleared blood broadcast, thus engaging
Custom smooths these grim transactions,
Only gore our thirst assuaging —
Peace for us has no attractions.

To a pulp we soon construe them
Merely for the sake of fighting,
Though our hearts may yearn unto them
In good fellowship we strew them
In a mincemeat uninviting
On the plain, without exciting
Any low or angry feeling;
'Tis bad form to be revealing
Any low, revengeful feeling.

We are maidens prim and prude, O,
Phosy priestesses and pensive;
Wanton wiles shall ne'er intrude, O,
In our bosoms all subdued, O,
In our bosoms apprehensive;
Yet our yearnings are extensive
For the vast incomprehensive —
That's the reason we're endued, O,
With these feelings apprehensive,
Lest perchance in amorous mood, O,
Wanton whispers might intrude, O,
In our bosoms unsubded, O,

So when gallants come a-wooing
With their leering and their sighing,
We their passions soon construing
Bind us not to our undoing.
Nay, our hearts are not complying
To love's pretty prattling lying,
Nor quaint rhymes shall ever win us,
Nor the stories that ye spin us,
Senile sonnets shall not win us,
We are learned and aesthetic
And we hate war's vulgar glory:
We are only sympathetic
With the humidly pathetic, —
We abhor your battles gory.

Stout and valiant, quick and furious,
Stirring peace should she be napping,
Quiet times are most injurious,
For a sense unique and curious
To our hearts comes tipping, tapping,
Rough and rushing, fierce and furious;
Still we hear the restless rapping
Like a flag's continuous flapping,
Tis only love that comes a-tapping
Though we hoped it might prove spurious;
'Tis vexatious and most curious
Loud the rapping grows and furious.

Well, we might concede your passion
In a mild platonic fashion
If you would forsake your fighting
For a pastime less exciting,
Such as, when the evening closes,
Twine us eglantine and roses;
When the evening calm and still is
Worship sun flowers and fair lilies.