Classic Poem

I.

Oh, whack! Cupid's a mannikin;
Smart on my heart he hit me a polter!
Good lack! Judy O'Flannikin!
Dearly she loves neat Looney Mactwolter.
Judy's a darling; my kisses she suffers;
She's an heiress, that's clear,
For her father sells beer;
He keeps the sign of the Cow and the Snuffers.
She's so smart!
From my heart
I cannot bolt her.
Oh, whack! Judy O'Flannikin!
She is the girl for Looney Mactwolter.

II.

Oh, hone! good news I need a bit!
We'd correspond but larning would choke her.
Mavrone! I cannot read a bit;
Judy can't tell a pen from a proker.
Judy's so constant, I'll never forsake her;
She's as true as the moon —
Only one afternoon
I caught her asleep with a humpback shoemaker.
Oh, she's smart!
From my heart
I cannot bolt her.
Oh, whack! Judy O'Flannikin!
She is the girl for Looney Mactwolter.