Books & You
He said I was 44 Anna Kareninas, but I still had to go back home, unemployed, broke, I began to sell books I'd saved from the dumpster — Springtime of the Liturgy to Franklin,
New York, then, Ideology: An Introduction to Columbus, a Reader's Greek-English Lexicon to Waukesha, Wisconsin, another to Fort Lauderdale, The New Testament World
to Richmond, Dangerous Liaisons to Rockaway, Deconstruction of the Visual Arts to Fairfax, Colonial Discourse to Nashville, a Concise Theological Dictionary to a man in
Brecksville, Ohio who said he'd long been looking for this book. He said may God bless you, and I felt like he meant it. Dialectic of Enlightenment by Horkheimer to
Berkeley, Pioneer Life to Jacksonville. A little girl gets bit by a rattlesnake, and her brother (small) runs with her in his arms to a doctor far away who has one dose of snake
venom (needs two for a child), and she dies. A Geneology of Pragmatism to Upland, California, Beguine Spirituality to Seguin, Texas (signed), Reading de Man Reading to
Berlin, A Grammatical Analysis of the New Testament to another Upland in Indiana, Simians, Cyborgs, & Women to Reseda, a Theological Dictionary to King's Park, New
York, The Spivak Reader to Upper Marlboro. The 19 th book sold: Culture and Imperialism , Edward Said, to Middletown — "inability to conceive of any alternative —
made empire durable." Rousseau painting on cover: "The Representatives of the Foreign Powers Coming to Hail the Republic as a Token of Peace," 1907. I had never thought of
Jane Austin as an imperialist before. (Think of seeing a movie without him — sharp sadness & pull & love for his tender seeing of movies, everything — what is that pull? as
if my spirit-self makes a run for him but finds itself caught inside my body.) The Black Atlantic to Sandwich, The Psychic Life of Power to Culver City. I dreamed a photograph
of the author last night in an Anne Sexton style, Imaginary Bodies to London with a beautiful blue painting, like clothing for a soul, produced at the Offenes Kulturhaus in
Linz, The Heart Of the Matter to Rockaway. The cloak of Elijah is in the Book of Kings, Pierre Teilhard de Chardin wrote his cloak essay in Jersey, in 1919, just after the war (the
cup appears to be closing over), Critique & Power to South San Francisco, On Narrative to the Berkeley School of Law, Little Havana Blues to Monument. I can't remember
where I sent Extreme-Occident , (a little gauze coat with stars on it floating on a map of water), or A Religious History of the American People (over 300 people burned by Queen
Mary, see the Book of Martyrs, "made their sad way out to face the fires of Smithfield." Pilgrim's Progress written by Bunyan in jail. & the hymns of Issa Watts), or Marxisim &
the Philosophy of Language , "What are the procedures for uncovering, for seizing hold, so to speak, of inner speech?" Book #31: In Spite of Plato to the University of Verona,
(she weaves her bridal all day, unweaving at night, until he comes home, reminding me of the Beguine women, "a feminine space where women belong to themselves," also of
the Reformation, the Puritans believing a spiritual life is lived in the world, not in retreat from it. I thought for a while that Penelope was real, a real Queen, "maternity itself
can be a space"), Looking Awry to Lexington (Department of Geography), Abjection, Melancholia, & Love to Baltimore, Selected Subaltern Studies to Somerville, An
Introductory Guide to Post Structuralism to Petaluma, Alternative to Speech to Brooklyn, Just As I Am , by Robert Williams, the gay priest whose books are among these, whose
photo fell
out of one, who died, to Maidenhead, Berkshire, United Kingdom, In Theory to Berkeley, More than Cool Reason to West Lafayette. (I am a little lonely for the Waffle House at 3
a.m.), An Anthology Of Essays from Dryden to Derrida went I know not where, Opening the Heart of Compassion to Australia, Jean de Florette and Manon of the Spring to
Madison, movies I saw at the Enzian with Frank, at least in the time of Frank, Book #34: Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius — all I can see is the pyramid, a triangle of protection
for Jesus and Mary and Joseph, until the death of Herod, Heidegger: A Critical Reader to Irvine, the Conquest of Happiness to Harrisonburg (I send him little hints from
this book, hoping), a first edition of Books & You — mentions Johnson's Lives of the Poets (who was killed in the bar? All the endless photocopying I did of that book in the
library. Savage I think. I smelled the muck in front of Tangerine Avenue, where they dug for the new development, mountains of sinkhole muck that we stepped in, carefully,
knowing it was quicksand. Madame Bovary taught me not to die for money, how I'd thought I'd live for education, then die in darkest thinking or go to Europe. But seeing
Emma, I saw myself buying an armload of clothes, a red wool dress and coat. Whitman on this — the animals have no mania for owning things.) When I had to get a temp job, it
became harder to keep track of the books — Perma Red went, "Her grandmother had told her there were places along the river where water waited to be heard," Women in the Acts
of the Apostles and Holy Listening , "Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you. See I have inscribed you on the palms of my hands" Isaiah 49:15ÔÇô16. I remember when my
parents said the way I drew the number 2 was beautiful. This was when I was still young enough to get a grade for handwriting in school, Poetic Closure, The Secret Gospel ,
Clement of Alexandria, Medicine as Ministry — the myth of Tithonus, so handsome and loved by the goddess of the dawn who forgot to ask Zeus to give him eternal youth along
with immortality, and T became so old he folded up like a cricket in a basket; in pity, she turned him into one, a comforting noise in the summer night, "the suffering person to
whom I minister is the one sent to minister to me." What did I forget to ask for? The healing pool at Bethesda, Jung, Synchronicity, & Human Destiny , my brother called, said
"You go rock this world." He said, "I loved you all these years, I didn't know how to talk to you," Zen Macrobiotics (take a small spoonful of gomasio to neutralize your blood,
stop eating honey, chocolate for a while), Practicing Macrobiotics, Operating Instructions, Window of Vulnerability , when the names of the martyrs are remembered in
church, they say, "Presente." He asked me to look for poetry/songs translated by Mark Strand ("Souvenir of the Ancient World"), I sold Of Being Numerous, Out of Silence , he
draws a bookstore for me on the edge of the sea, boats in the distance, I am so happy to have a place to live under the blue sky. After that I only sold what I could not say.
New York, then, Ideology: An Introduction to Columbus, a Reader's Greek-English Lexicon to Waukesha, Wisconsin, another to Fort Lauderdale, The New Testament World
to Richmond, Dangerous Liaisons to Rockaway, Deconstruction of the Visual Arts to Fairfax, Colonial Discourse to Nashville, a Concise Theological Dictionary to a man in
Brecksville, Ohio who said he'd long been looking for this book. He said may God bless you, and I felt like he meant it. Dialectic of Enlightenment by Horkheimer to
Berkeley, Pioneer Life to Jacksonville. A little girl gets bit by a rattlesnake, and her brother (small) runs with her in his arms to a doctor far away who has one dose of snake
venom (needs two for a child), and she dies. A Geneology of Pragmatism to Upland, California, Beguine Spirituality to Seguin, Texas (signed), Reading de Man Reading to
Berlin, A Grammatical Analysis of the New Testament to another Upland in Indiana, Simians, Cyborgs, & Women to Reseda, a Theological Dictionary to King's Park, New
York, The Spivak Reader to Upper Marlboro. The 19 th book sold: Culture and Imperialism , Edward Said, to Middletown — "inability to conceive of any alternative —
made empire durable." Rousseau painting on cover: "The Representatives of the Foreign Powers Coming to Hail the Republic as a Token of Peace," 1907. I had never thought of
Jane Austin as an imperialist before. (Think of seeing a movie without him — sharp sadness & pull & love for his tender seeing of movies, everything — what is that pull? as
if my spirit-self makes a run for him but finds itself caught inside my body.) The Black Atlantic to Sandwich, The Psychic Life of Power to Culver City. I dreamed a photograph
of the author last night in an Anne Sexton style, Imaginary Bodies to London with a beautiful blue painting, like clothing for a soul, produced at the Offenes Kulturhaus in
Linz, The Heart Of the Matter to Rockaway. The cloak of Elijah is in the Book of Kings, Pierre Teilhard de Chardin wrote his cloak essay in Jersey, in 1919, just after the war (the
cup appears to be closing over), Critique & Power to South San Francisco, On Narrative to the Berkeley School of Law, Little Havana Blues to Monument. I can't remember
where I sent Extreme-Occident , (a little gauze coat with stars on it floating on a map of water), or A Religious History of the American People (over 300 people burned by Queen
Mary, see the Book of Martyrs, "made their sad way out to face the fires of Smithfield." Pilgrim's Progress written by Bunyan in jail. & the hymns of Issa Watts), or Marxisim &
the Philosophy of Language , "What are the procedures for uncovering, for seizing hold, so to speak, of inner speech?" Book #31: In Spite of Plato to the University of Verona,
(she weaves her bridal all day, unweaving at night, until he comes home, reminding me of the Beguine women, "a feminine space where women belong to themselves," also of
the Reformation, the Puritans believing a spiritual life is lived in the world, not in retreat from it. I thought for a while that Penelope was real, a real Queen, "maternity itself
can be a space"), Looking Awry to Lexington (Department of Geography), Abjection, Melancholia, & Love to Baltimore, Selected Subaltern Studies to Somerville, An
Introductory Guide to Post Structuralism to Petaluma, Alternative to Speech to Brooklyn, Just As I Am , by Robert Williams, the gay priest whose books are among these, whose
photo fell
out of one, who died, to Maidenhead, Berkshire, United Kingdom, In Theory to Berkeley, More than Cool Reason to West Lafayette. (I am a little lonely for the Waffle House at 3
a.m.), An Anthology Of Essays from Dryden to Derrida went I know not where, Opening the Heart of Compassion to Australia, Jean de Florette and Manon of the Spring to
Madison, movies I saw at the Enzian with Frank, at least in the time of Frank, Book #34: Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius — all I can see is the pyramid, a triangle of protection
for Jesus and Mary and Joseph, until the death of Herod, Heidegger: A Critical Reader to Irvine, the Conquest of Happiness to Harrisonburg (I send him little hints from
this book, hoping), a first edition of Books & You — mentions Johnson's Lives of the Poets (who was killed in the bar? All the endless photocopying I did of that book in the
library. Savage I think. I smelled the muck in front of Tangerine Avenue, where they dug for the new development, mountains of sinkhole muck that we stepped in, carefully,
knowing it was quicksand. Madame Bovary taught me not to die for money, how I'd thought I'd live for education, then die in darkest thinking or go to Europe. But seeing
Emma, I saw myself buying an armload of clothes, a red wool dress and coat. Whitman on this — the animals have no mania for owning things.) When I had to get a temp job, it
became harder to keep track of the books — Perma Red went, "Her grandmother had told her there were places along the river where water waited to be heard," Women in the Acts
of the Apostles and Holy Listening , "Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you. See I have inscribed you on the palms of my hands" Isaiah 49:15ÔÇô16. I remember when my
parents said the way I drew the number 2 was beautiful. This was when I was still young enough to get a grade for handwriting in school, Poetic Closure, The Secret Gospel ,
Clement of Alexandria, Medicine as Ministry — the myth of Tithonus, so handsome and loved by the goddess of the dawn who forgot to ask Zeus to give him eternal youth along
with immortality, and T became so old he folded up like a cricket in a basket; in pity, she turned him into one, a comforting noise in the summer night, "the suffering person to
whom I minister is the one sent to minister to me." What did I forget to ask for? The healing pool at Bethesda, Jung, Synchronicity, & Human Destiny , my brother called, said
"You go rock this world." He said, "I loved you all these years, I didn't know how to talk to you," Zen Macrobiotics (take a small spoonful of gomasio to neutralize your blood,
stop eating honey, chocolate for a while), Practicing Macrobiotics, Operating Instructions, Window of Vulnerability , when the names of the martyrs are remembered in
church, they say, "Presente." He asked me to look for poetry/songs translated by Mark Strand ("Souvenir of the Ancient World"), I sold Of Being Numerous, Out of Silence , he
draws a bookstore for me on the edge of the sea, boats in the distance, I am so happy to have a place to live under the blue sky. After that I only sold what I could not say.
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