English

ACT I. SCENE I.

Sir ROGER.

Here, Thomas Filbert , answer to your name,
Dorcas hath sworn to you she owes her shame:
Or wed her strait, or else you're sent afar,
To serve his gracious Majesty in war.

FILBERT.

'Tis false, 'tis false — I scorn thy odious touch,

DORCAS.

When their turn 's serv'd, all men will do as much.

KITTY.

Ah, good your Worships, ease a wretched maid,
To the right father let the child be laid.

Spoken by Mr. Pinkethman .

The entertainment of this night — or day,
This something, or this nothing of a Play,
Which strives to please all palates at a time,
With ghosts and men, songs, dances, prose and rhime,
This comic story, or this tragic jest,
May make you laugh, or cry, as you like best;
May exercise your good, or your ill-nature,
Move with distress, or tickle you with satyr.
All must be pleas'd too with their Parts, we think:
Our maids have sweethearts, and their Worships drink.

Scene. A Country Justice's Hall, adorn'd with Scutcheons and Stags Horns .

Enter Steward, Squire, Kitty, Dock, and others in Country Habits .

Steward . So, you are ready in your parts, and in your dress too, I see; your own best cloaths do the business. Sure never was Play and actors so suited. Come, range your selves before me, women on the right, and men on the left. Squire Thomas , you make a good figure.
Squire . Ay, thanks to Barnaby 's Sunday cloaths; but call me Thomas Filbert , as I am in the Play.

Design'd to be spoken by the Person who should
have play'd Joan Cloudy .

What woful things do we poor Folks endure,
To keep our Spouses to our selves secure?
We Wives — — — (of one and all this may be said,)
Ne'er think our Husbands safe, — — — but when in Bed.
But now, to quit the Wife — — — How would it please ye,
Could you dissolve the Marriage Noose as easie.
Marriage would then no more entail for Life,
And Coquets venture on the Name of Wife :
What Woman would not! — — — if this Scheme would do,

SCENE III. A Tavern .

Scrup. What says the Statute Book, Brother Wiseman , in relation to these kind of Enormities? I am informed that there were Mohocks in Queen Elizabeth 's Days. Have you search'd all the Statutes of her Reign for an Act in relation to this Affair?

SCENE II. The Street before the Watch-house .

Moon . Lookye, Brother Watchman, you are a Man of Learning and can read the News.
Windy . Why, Neighbour, for that matter as a Body may say, Mr. Constable is a great Man, a great Man, Neighbour, and fair Words cost nothing — — — But as I was saying, Peter Cloudy there is ready with his Verses.
Frost . Ay, ay, Peter 's Verses may be seen pasted up in every Barber's Shop in the Parish; Peter shall be our Spokesman to induce our New Mr. Constable.

Enter Constable.

SCENE I. A Tavern .

A BADDON.

THUS far our Riots with Success are crown'd,
Have found no stop, or what they found o'ercame;
In vain th' embattell'd Watch in deep array,
Against our Rage oppose their lifted Poles;
Through Poles we rush triumphant, Watchman rolls
On Watchman; while their Lanthorns kick'd aloft
Like blazing Stars, illumine all the Air.
Mol . Such Acts as these have made our Fame immortal,
And wide through all Britannia 's distant Towns,

To be Spoken by the Publisher.

THIS Farce, if the kind Players had thought fit
With Action had supply'd its want of Wit.
Oh Readers! had you seen the Mohocks rage ,
And frighted Watchmen tremble on the Stage;
Had you but seen our Mighty Emperor stalk ;
And heard in Cloudy honest Dicky talk ,
Seen Pinkethman in strutting Prig appear ,
And 'midst of Danger wisely lead the Rear,
It might have pleas'd; for now-a-days the Joke
Rises or falls as with Grimace 'tis spoke .

FABLE L.

Friendship , like love, is but a name,
Unless to one you stint the flame.
The child, whom many fathers share,
Hath seldom known a father's care:
'Tis thus in friendships; who depend
On many, rarely find a friend.
A Hare, who, in a civil way,
Comply'd with ev'ry thing, like Gay ,
Was known by all the bestial train,
Who haunt the wood, or graze the plain:
Her care was, never to offend,
And ev'ry creature was her friend.

FABLE XLIX

Whether on earth, in air, or main,
Sure ev'ry thing alive is vain!
Does not the hawk all fowls survey,
As destin'd only for his prey?
And do not tyrants, prouder things,
Think men were born for slaves to kings?
When the crab views the pearly strands,
Or Tagus , bright with golden sands,
Or crawles beside the coral grove,
And hears the ocean roll above;
Nature is too profuse, says he,
Who gave all these to pleasure me!